First ramblings
So I decided one day that I needed a place to share my thoughts. I am not the best journal keeper. Ok, in all honesty, I am the very worst but I wanted to be able to put my thoughts somewhere. So here it is.
With the start of the new year, it is the best time to start and do something that I have had the feeling or prompting to do. So here we are.
This last year was hard. My job went from being something that I absolutely loved, to feeling like it was sucking the life out of me. I hated it and something changed. My husband noticed it and he didn't like it one bit. So I quit. It was painful because I loved my students and I loved other teachers I worked with but there were things that made it impossible. I also lost two of the three living grandparents I had.
Then to top everything off I lost my testimony. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Many know us as Mormons, but that isn't a good description of what we truly believe. Anyways, I regress. I don't know if I completely lost it but Satan worked extra hard on me. Things happened and he was able to work his way into my thoughts and actions. It was hard. There were times I just wanted to stop going to church and not worry about it anymore. Sometimes I think I just went to church because that was what everyone expected of me. It got hard. BUT, one thing I have learned in this experience is that Heavenly Father does love me. Some of the stuff I went through was from poor choices on my part. No matter what He does love me and I am a daughter of God. One thing I always was able to feel and hear was the spirit in my ear trying to counter what Satan was doing. There were times when I really doubted if everything was true and if He still cared that I was even doing anything at all that the spirit shouted at me. Heavenly Father knows each of us individually and knows what we need. I needed this to get me out of a spiritual rut of not always praying, morning and night, and not reading my scriptures like I should be. When I don't put in the work, I can't except everything else to fall into place. Much like my basketball or soccer skills. When I don't use them I lose them. I hadn't been doing the things I needed to help keep Satan at bay and he jumped at the small open window and wrecked havoc on my life.
One thing that has really helped is the awesome husband I have. I was finally able to just vent and tell him everything. He told me that no matter what he would love me and help me in whatever I needed. I think that helped. Also, just finally voicing all the things going on in my own brain helped to get some of the negative out.
So here I am at the start of a new year with a new hope and view. I will focus on the important, little details, and things to help me with the big picture and the big things.
With the start of the new year, it is the best time to start and do something that I have had the feeling or prompting to do. So here we are.
This last year was hard. My job went from being something that I absolutely loved, to feeling like it was sucking the life out of me. I hated it and something changed. My husband noticed it and he didn't like it one bit. So I quit. It was painful because I loved my students and I loved other teachers I worked with but there were things that made it impossible. I also lost two of the three living grandparents I had.
Then to top everything off I lost my testimony. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Many know us as Mormons, but that isn't a good description of what we truly believe. Anyways, I regress. I don't know if I completely lost it but Satan worked extra hard on me. Things happened and he was able to work his way into my thoughts and actions. It was hard. There were times I just wanted to stop going to church and not worry about it anymore. Sometimes I think I just went to church because that was what everyone expected of me. It got hard. BUT, one thing I have learned in this experience is that Heavenly Father does love me. Some of the stuff I went through was from poor choices on my part. No matter what He does love me and I am a daughter of God. One thing I always was able to feel and hear was the spirit in my ear trying to counter what Satan was doing. There were times when I really doubted if everything was true and if He still cared that I was even doing anything at all that the spirit shouted at me. Heavenly Father knows each of us individually and knows what we need. I needed this to get me out of a spiritual rut of not always praying, morning and night, and not reading my scriptures like I should be. When I don't put in the work, I can't except everything else to fall into place. Much like my basketball or soccer skills. When I don't use them I lose them. I hadn't been doing the things I needed to help keep Satan at bay and he jumped at the small open window and wrecked havoc on my life.
One thing that has really helped is the awesome husband I have. I was finally able to just vent and tell him everything. He told me that no matter what he would love me and help me in whatever I needed. I think that helped. Also, just finally voicing all the things going on in my own brain helped to get some of the negative out.
So here I am at the start of a new year with a new hope and view. I will focus on the important, little details, and things to help me with the big picture and the big things.
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